The summer light has it’s moments. This year summer in Ireland has been a beauty. Sometimes later in the evening there are long shadows of delightful darkness. Darkness and light.
As my year’s leave moves into the final quarter I need to decide whether to return to my busy day job or settle into a less secure full time role as artist/writer. No contest says you!
One year is contained. It has a beginning, middle and end. If I choose not to return I am facing a kind of long open space. I have put a toe in the waters of this spaciousness but now I will have to leap in head first and bring the rest of me too. I usually creep in to the sea. I sidle in slowly. Every cool ripple dreeps over me gradually. I feel every moment.
No, I’m not the type to dive in off a rock and take the consequences.
So I am slowly taking off these shoes, looking out to into the darkness. Stepping slowly but purposefully into the middle of it. For the first time I feel myself taking a turn in the road towards the last journey home.
Sure we are all dying. says you. There is nothing imminent about it. But it’s inevitability strikes me more deeply now.
The garden chairs are covered in lichen and have worn to a thin brittleness. Maybe the relentlessness of the day job usually protects me from seeing this? From really seeing this.
The next step, whatever it is, means being here. Being here as myself and the trees, and Himself and the wild undergrowth engulf and wither. The willows will take back the land. The fox will walk across the path in the rain and look through the window again. There will be no time to grab the camera. Just a moment for each of us to acknowledge the other’s presence and move on. Each with our different paths.
A wise man I met listened to my story. I think you have done enough, he said. Haven’t you done enough?
I think the relentlessness of ”day jobs’ put blinkers on people without them fully realising it. Comfort can lie therein but creativity and real feeling can be stifled.
Unleash yourself, my friend, and embrace the energy and fascinating play of light and shade on the wild side. xx
P.S. Now is the time to plunge into the real waves!!
Wise, wise words Jean…..I love your poetry- unleashing, play of light and shade, on the wild side. As for plunging? I’m laughing excitedly at the very thought….x
No comment… Need to absorb this 🙂
Mulling things over like myself then….
This is beautiful….and you know it resonates with me.
Time is our only commodity. Maybe it’s true for always….but more true-er today.
At this stage I feel the preciousness quite deeply. Love how we and the other Vision and Verb pals are always stepping along this path together Marcie!
Stunned and almost speechless, Catherine. This is so much like my life in this season. I will come to read this again. And then I will need time to sit with it once more and listen for what the echoes of your thoughts say to me. Thank you ever so much for sharing in these words your journey with me.
Wishing you much wise guidance and wonderful outcomes,
Lily
Dear Lilly, lovely to hear how this resonates with you. It feels like yet another transition in life. In a way so precious and bitter sweet. Every new moment is beautiful don’t you think? x
I have ‘toe-stepped’ having time off in the past- initially off work for through illness for almost 9months; a blessing in disguise – I wouldn’t wish anyone to be ill, but I relished in the free time to take stock and explore things I enjoyed. I then found being back full-time work where people are stressed hard going, and that I was moving in another direction which had more soul and meaning. Part-time for a while, less onerous, allowed more breathing space.- but ultimately not what I desired. It is now 3 years since I also left the same part time work behind. I have no regrets. New opportunities present themselves. and, I believe as we get older we become more like ourselves. I agree with your listener – haven’t you done enough! ?
Whatever you decide Catherine I am sure you will follow the wisdom of your heart. Wishing you love, light and blessings X
HI Pat, I appreciate so much that you have shared your experience. I think I know exactly what you mean about moving in another direction. It’s brilliant that you took the leap and that it has worked out for you. Yes, I have done more than enough methinks……love, light and blessings in return to you my friend.
You have the soul of an artist. Drawing from the tone of this post, and from my conversations with you, I reckon this may well be your time to shine as a writer an artist. The blog, and the following it’s received, have shown that you can do it. If you do decide to do that, best of luck. If not, I hope you’ll still find the day job fulfilling.
Thank you Derbhile! I love your faith in me and your faith in art……and although I may be a late bloomer, it’s never too late to shine as you say. Hey let’s both keep diving in sister!!!!