I was talking with an old friend, some one who has been around the block with me over the years. As with most women of a certain age, we got to the heart of the matter pretty quickly.
I realised that for more than 20 years I have been inside the kind of job that steals your voice. Now I have loved this job, which is mainly supporting people. But the job requires that I am in the background, listening a lot, and maintaining a kind of “objectivity”. I also have to maintain confidentiality, hold people’s disappointments and struggles, while encouraging them to find their best solutions. And sometimes although I would love to share in their success, it is not appropriate to claim any of it. Solutions and success are always theirs alone.
Because I have done this for so long, my sabbatical from the job, feels like being freed from a cage. It is a strange challenge to be out in the world without this role I have played for more than 20 years. Finding a way to express myself in both my writing and my art, I feel like a beginner.
I have learned so much about creating safety for others, that maybe I have become too risk averse? This was brought home to me during the week when myself and another blogger began a chat about young women and their ability to open their hearts in public. Sometimes instead of wanting them to raise their voices I feel afraid for them and want to protect them. But I was once one of them, outraged by people’s complacency and fearless about my own ability to change the world.
Putting “feminist” back on my profile
For most of my life I have been making self portraits and they are often dark and show me being submerged in water!! Yes I almost drowned once, but seriously, I need to rise to the surface!! I need to remember that we must do more then just survive. That those of us who are privileged to be living in peace, must never forget the power of finding and using your voice. And although I don’t want to be labelled or boxed in, I feel I have to reclaim the word Feminist and stamp it on my profile for the time being.
This week alone I have witnessed a young woman standing up to racist abuse, another blogging about her depression and another talking about her experience of sexual abuse. In each case I felt terrified for them. But in each case I had to ask myself a few questions. How am I supporting them? How am I helping them to change the world for women and girls? How am I using my voice and experience as a role model?
So from now on, I intend to make self portraits of this Ripening Woman coming right up out of the water and landing on the shore. Maybe Ripening Woman should have a flag to stake into the ground? And written on the flag? Until further notice……..proud, relentless, fearless, Irish, FEMINIST!
Oh I can’t wait to see what you produce! You go girl!
All fired up and ready to go Robin! x
I resonated with so much of this, Catherine. I always enjoy your writing and find that any work that illicits an Exactly! is very empowering. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that my own column birthed itself when my coaching work and caring for an elderly parent meant I was silently supportive for hours every day. Deep listening opens up direct channels to the universe; it makes us more present, more aware, more connected, intuitive and intensely alive.
That’s when the jug overflows. Balancing healthy expression, bold authenticity and online safety can be tricky; that’s why the world needs the voices of evolving women to inspire and lead, to pioneer with purpose.
Janice that is so good to hear today! I absolutely love the term evolving too. I might borrow that! It is extremely tricky and I think only that I am on a sabbatical I would still be struggling with the balancing act. When I started my column I found it very hard to be opinionated! The Editor calls it having bite. Well I may not bite exactly but I definitely want to be a voice out there. And a feminist one at that!! Thanks for joining in x
As a dad of two young women I salute that flag and embrace it, here’s to a brighter and more enlightened future for us all
Yay!! Thanks for getting it…..It works great for both genders I think….and my three grown up sons would probably agree:~)
Oh, those crocuses are a refreshing sight! If ever there was a year to explore the world, yourself and creativity, I think this is it. Wishing you well on your journey!
Thank you Maery Rose. I love seeing your face here. Reminds me of the good old days of Vision and Verb. So glad we have stayed connected. I often feel we are on this old path together. x
Great post, Catherine, though I think you are doing your feminist self an injustice by suggesting she’s not as active as she could be. Feminism has many faces and you always strike me as being one with great humanity and social conscience. x
Hi Jean, that’s good of you to say. She never went away but had to be under wraps in the job for sure! I’m feeling something stirring about Repealing the 8th Amendment. I think I don’t want to leave it to the young women to fight this on their own. Isn’t that what happened to our generation? Something like that, I’m mulling it over!!! x
SO MUCH LOVE for this. I put ‘feminist’ on my profile (I mean yes, of course I’m a feminist, have been since I was ten). Took the word off my profile (don’t want people to misunderstand what I mean by feminist, easier not to have to explain). Put it back (surely it doesn’t matter what people think? I truly am a feminist). Took it off again (Am a bit scared to admit it nowadays, which I wasn’t at ten, or twenty, or thirty…)
Anyway. It’s there now. Those who say we’re done fighting are not seeing the wounded on the battlefield. What I love – what feels good and different to my teen years – is all the support from men as well as women. Carpe feminism!
Sx
That is such a good description of the dance of feminism!! Sile I have done the exact same thing!!! So YES I have now put it back too. Come hell or high water I will be out there all the way through this next referendum and holding solid ground with my sisters. Thank you so much for telling all. I feel a bit less of a dope!
Touched to the core Catherine. I know that ‘supporting role’ slot and it does not come with Oscars or accolades. I will watch this space as I mother my young girl and watch her and her friends bud into beauty in a strange time.
If ever the sisterhood was needed in the world it must be now. Yea the roles we play of caring are sometimes the perfect fit and other times we need something else that takes all our grit and courage. I’m with HER!! x
Ripening women…..God I love those words.
So perfectly descriptive. And specific.
Thanks for being such a strong voice in the world.
Cheering you on,
Jennifer
Ah thank you Jennifer! Sure I’m still discovering what it all even means x