Death or the long sleep, is a subject that I am endlessly interested in. There is such beautiful decay around us in everyday winter fading. Maybe we are divided into those who yearn for Spring and those who are slower to leave Winter?
Confinement has shrunk my world for now, and yet I’m closer to the small and the frail than ever. At this time of the year all I can find are skeletal remains, a handful of ageing hydrangea petals in the shimmering morning light. Then safe on the warm floor I am occupied for the day.
But only for now. Here comes Spring!
Hold out your arms by Helen Dunbar, written just before her death in 2017
Death, hold out your arms for me
Embrace me
Give me your motherly caress,
Through all this suffering
You have not forgotten me.
You are the bearded iris that bakes its rhizomes
Beside the wall,
Your scent flushes with loveliness,
Sherbet, pure iris
Lovely and intricate.
I am the child who stands by the wall
Not much taller than the iris.
The sun covers me
The day waits for me
In my funny dress.
Death, you heap into my arms
A basket of unripe damsons
Red crisscross straps that button behind me.
I don’t know about school,
My knowledge is for papery bud covers
Tall stems and brown
Bees touching here and there, delicately
Before a swerve to the sun.
Death stoops over me
Her long skirts slide,
She knows I am shy.
Even the puffed sleeves on my white blouse
Embarrass me,
She will pick me up and hold me
So no one can see me,
I will scrub my hair into hers.
There, the iris increases
Note by note
As the wall gives back heat.
Death, there’s no need to ask:
A mother will always lift a child
As a rhizome
Must lift up a flower
So you settle me
My arms twining,
Thighs gripping your hips
Where the swell of you is.
As you push back my hair
– Which could do with a comb
But never mind –
You murmur
‘We’re nearly there.’
(25 May 2017)
ethereal angels wings in your photos today. Companion to the wire and paper angel sculpture I saw on an earlier blog.
Ah! I love that, ethereal wings…..a whole new way of seeing these old petals….thank you Diane x
I agree, ethereal wings, yes – your photography has captured those filigree faded petals beautifully. I recently wrote another Helen Dunmore on my blog, her poems are full of peace and grace. An ice/ snowbound Siberian winter has hit the UK this week, at the official start of Spring, and headed your way Catherine. Although I love winter scenes I am feeling the cold, and, welcome Spring. Much love – keep warm XOXO
Dearest Pat, it’s here, we’ve been under a foot of snow for days. While it’s been beautiful and a complete novelty I agree, it tires after a while. I never would have said that, but I am now in my fifth week of injury and it’s wearing. But next week the cast comes off!!!! Can you post me a link to your blogpost about Helen Dunbar? Would love to read it. x
Thank you Catherine -(post ‘inside the wave’ 17/02/18) – all the best with cast coming off X
Hi Catherine,
Diana put it beautifully; these photos have an ethereal quality that’s magical. I know you’ll always find something beautiful that inspires you, wherever you are, but the practicalities of dealing with winter weather can be trying enough without the frustration and trappedness injury can bring. I hope your wrists mend soon. We’ve been hampered by snow for days now, and it does get a bit challenging. I’m one of those folk who love the cosiness that late autumn and winter invite, the candlelight and open fires and the anticipation of the festive season, but I’d be quite happy if someone invented snow that didn’t lie on roads and pavements. I’m not a fan, probably because I travel a lot to look after my elderly dad and I remember a childhood where chilblains and damp woollens were a feature of winter. Do people even get chilblains any more? Big hugs, Jx
Hi Janice, many thanks for your kind words. Chilblains! There’s a word I haven’t heard for years! Indeed I remember them too. We were always told not to put our feet on too hot water bottles for fear of them. Yes the five weeks have just evaporated into some kind of time warp. Keeping busy all the time but not being able to drive when you live in the middle of nowhere renders you totally house bound. The last week of snow and storms has been an interesting distraction with the whole nation is now keeping me company. I just love dead and dying vegetation! Funny where healing leads you isn’t it. xx